In the 20 minutes that it took for my computer to boot (thank you random updates I didn’t know I scheduled), I sat and reflected on the last 2.5 hours of my life. If you are reading this review, I’m hoping you already saw Avengers: Infinity War. Because there is no way or me to do it any justice without spoilers. So, just in case that doesn’t register…

SPOILERS AHEAD!! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, MY REVIEW WILL RUIN IT FOR YOU.

Okay you’ve been warned.

Trying to gasp at some happiness

As I sit here, trying to somehow decompress everything that just happened, everyone that we have lost, I find myself trying to grasp at some happy little sprinkle of happiness and this is what I have for you … nada. While Avengers: Infinity War was incredible, the one thing I’m left with is sadness and despair. We get a little tiny speck of possible hope in the after credits scene with the message being sent to Captain Marvel, but at what cost?

About Thanos

As you hopefully know by now, Thanos is on the hunt for the Infinity Stones. He believes that the world has finite resources and has taken it upon himself to rectify the issue. The movie starts with him having one of the six. So you know there’s already been some horrible destruction somewhere. And then you see what he’s made of the Asgardian ship that carried all of the remaining Asgardians and you realize, he ain’t messing around.

The normal campy and witty banter is always a nice treat as a way to transition between the carnage left in Thanos’ wake between each Infinity Stone. It’s all seemingly for not since Thanos gets all six stones anyway, snaps his fingers, and the next thing we know the credits are rolling. No really, this is how it feels. Carnage, destruction, witty banter, carnage, campy camp camp, destruction … and scene. Visually, it was incredible, as always. I understand that movies that rely so heavily on CGI aren’t everyone’s thing, but I will say that, for me, it was amazing.

I will point out that I totally understand the need to pay lip service to the fans, and I’ve always loved the plot line of the Scarlet Witch and Vision being together but as if the movie wasn’t already going to be tragic enough, let’s throw in yet another sacrifice since she’s the only one who can destroy the stone in his head. Oh yeah? Did I mention that would then kill him? Oh goody. Yet another horribly tragic choice that needs to be made. There were quite a few of them. Even poor Gamora asked Quill to kill her if Thanos got a hold of her. (A lot of good that whole agreement turned out to be.)

And we have questions

And when they do finally get Thanos pinned down and are trying to remove the Gauntlet, why didn’t anyone think to cut off his arm? I mean … problem kind of solved? Or when Mantis had him all subdued, why wouldn’t you just go for the kill shot? Aren’t the Guardians supposed to be like mercenaries? But that, of course, wouldn’t set us up for the next movie, and also the next phase of the Marvel Comic Universe.

The Speculation we had

There was much speculation on who was going to die in this movie. Between actors contracts being up, a need to keep things current with the possibility of people burning out of the superhero genre, and the ever growing list of talent coming into the MCU, we knew that we would lose at least a few of our beloved heroes and antiheroes. I will take this moment to say that my prediction was that Loki would be the first to go and I can’t even be happy to say that I was wrong. And yet, we still watch our beloved Loki fall by the hands of Thanos. It was hard enough digesting the fact that Asgard had been wiped out and then to see Loki dying to protect Thor … I cried a little.

I was a bit worried about how they were going to pull off bringing everyone together. It was the perfect amount of witty banter that we are used to–that soft cushion of comedy that makes you feel like everything is going to be alright. But you don’t really get a chance to actually feel that comfortable because crap is happening everywhere.

The Pairings

I felt that throwing Star Lord and Thor together was absolutely hilarious. Same goes for the power struggle that happens between the two egocentric personalities of Tony Stark and Dr. Strange. The one thing that I have always appreciated about the way that Marvel writes their characters, is that they are written so honestly. I know that sounds silly but if you look at the human characters, they show their human moments, that’s where so much of our favorite humorous moments come in. Same goes for the alien characters, look at The Guardians for example. They feel, to me, like they could just be average Joe’s hanging out at a intergalactic barbeque with you. That’s what makes us grow to love them. They aren’t written to be these untouchable superheroes that some other franchises try to make. They inspire greatness because of the somewhat humble beginnings of so many.

What we’re left feeling

But that’s what made this movie so hard to really digest. After every previous Marvel movie, I have left the theater with a sense of hope. With Avengers: Infinity Wars, I’m left with more uncertainty than I think I’ve ever really felt after a movie. We literally just saw a majority of “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” vanish before our eyes. We can rationalize all we want about how they are going to bring certain characters back. Because we know Black Panther 2 is already on the horizons. For now, I will have to spend time mourning the loss of Loki. There’s really no coming back from that, and remember that hardly ever is anyone really dead in the superhero universes. So why does it feel so … I don’t know … lost?

It almost feels like Infinity War was kind of an exit interview for these actors that won’t be moving on to Phase 4 of MCU. It’s like a way of giving us a clean break from the heroes, and the villains, that we have grown to love, and love to hate. They’ll figure out some way to bring back some of them–they must, right? However they do it, I’m sure it will be great. As discombobulated as I feel right now, I know I love Marvel. I love how much they have put into creating fresh new ideas and pushing the boundary of what they can accomplish. My hat is off to them for pulling off such an incredible crossover event. I can’t wait to see what they do next. 

Featured image credit: Marvel Entertainment